Thursday, January 12, 2012

Spilling my heart

I never used to really journal on my layouts. I gave the who, what, where, when... you get the picture. But I never really told the stories behind the stories.

Not long after I joined the Digichick as a CT member, I was invited to represent our site as a member of the Just Write team in the Artisan Notebook. This is the team that focuses on the journaling we put on our pages. Because I take the assignment literally, I have learned to add real journaling on my pages. Not only the facts and surface stories. In fact I don't really like to make pages like that - just to remember one particular moment. I prefer to add journaling that spills from my heart.

When I'm writing my journaling, I don't over-think it, I don't try to control what I'm going to say - I rarely even have a plan, and I especially don't edit until I've said what needed to be said.

I remember when I first started scrapping Cathy Zielske was just becoming big in the scrapbooking world. Her layout style is clean, blocked and minimalist. I've never been able to pull that off. But it was always her journaling that inspired me. She advised us to keep it real. So that's why I try to do on my pages.

I don't make my pages in order to please my teams, my shop or gallery viewers. I make my pages to please myself. Call me selfish. I make my pages instead of keeping a diary. Its not complete by any means, but its why I scrap. I make my pages to speak to my children mostly - the things that I do not (or cannot) tell them right now to their faces. I hope that one day when they are looking at the pages I make for them, they take the time to read what I've written to them as well. Not so much stories of day's event - although I make those pages from time to time too - but stories from my heart to theirs.

My daughter is turning 13 this month. Its incredible for me to grasp that she is no longer a child. I know that I'll have a hard time letting go.

In just a few weeks you are going to be an official teenager. No longer a child, not an adult. Its going to be a tough time I fear. We've already gone head to head more times than I care to remember. You are so strong willed and we allow you to speak your mind. I wish I could promise you that I will respect you and your desires. But after all, you are still too young to make all your own decisions. I know we will have a battle of the wills again and that while we are so angry we will momentarily forget how much we love each other. But we do know. You know I love you. I know you love me. It will be hard for me to let you go. So much of my life is wrapped up in you and your brother. But I know that letting go is my ultimate job as your mom. I'm not ready for it yet - and neither are you. So let's just take it slow, and hopefully with a great deal of love and laughter. You are my precious daughter. I am so excited to see you bloom and grow.


papers and elements from Count Your Blessings by ViVa Artistry
page template from Gimme Layers Lite 11 by Cluster Queen Creations

This is a page I made for a challenge at The Color Room. I like their challenges because they give me the colors I need to use and I decide everything else. I'm a fan of the Brave Girls Club and get their love letters sent to me everyday. This one especially spoke to my heart.

Dear Irreplaceable Girl,

You are in just the right place in your life right now, doing just what needs to be done at this time. You are learning just what you need to be learning at this time. There’s a plan for your life and even if you are in the middle of where you were and where you are headed. Everything is going to be ok. You can do difficult things.

You are surrounded by the right people at this time, even if you feel rather alone. Things are working out exactly as they are meant to work out, though you may not see what is happening behind the scenes. You are becoming exactly who you are meant to become, even if you feel like you are not really becoming anything or anyone at all right now.

Please, sweet beautiful friend…during this magical time, simply let yourself be. Let your life be. Let go of expectations. Let go of your attachment to specific outcomes. Notice little miracles. Understand that you belong here. There is a place for you.

You belong. You are loved. Everything is going to work out beautifully. You are cherished, thought-out, thought-of and watched out for. You have not been forgotten. Not now, not ever.
Everything is going to be ok. Please rest in that truth. You matter, so very very very much.
papers and elements from Around the World and Emporium, both by the Digichick Designers
journal and bee from Old Garden by Etc. by Danyale
page template is by Fiddle-Dee-Dee Designs

Thank you so much for stopping by my little corner of the web. I love to read your comments and just know that you've come for a look. Please stop by again soon!


Cheryl said...

Hi Holly
Been spending some time at your blog this evening. *enjoying your blog* You made some beautiful layouts. Im loving them all :)
Your DD is growing into a beautiful young lady too :)

Lys said...

I love pages with journaling ! and above all when they are like yours, written with a heart full of love ... I have became a journaling addict, I love making pages like this now, it is so meaningful, and like you, now, I don't make this to please anyone, but to please myself, so we are both to be selfish ;) and I love so much to write. I really enjoy myself to write something on my layouts !
I am sure your children, one day, will love to read what you have written.
Have a great day !